What does sexual deviancy mean? Is it better than "normal" sex? What if I'm content with "normal" sex -- am I not radical then? Should I keep quiet about my desires if they might shock you ? If I think about it enough, will it make me want to do it? Are fantasies based on desire? Is a fantasy ever "wrong"? Are my desires my own or have they been fed to me -- am I sexually brainwashed? Does the expressed acceptable sexual imagery around me sum up my desires? How much of my life is eroticisedAre male and female fantasies and desires the same? A world apart? If they are a world apart can I ever have a truely connected and satisfying heterosexual sexual relationship? Are sex and emotion connected? Seperate? Is sex love? Solo sex - only a substitute for "real" sex, or "real" sex in and of itself? Is it to share with my partner, or only appropriate when I'm not in a relationship? Sex in a relationship -- better than sex 'no strings attached'? The other way around? Are orgasms the beall and endall? Can I take them further? Make them better? Is it possible for me to de-emphasize them in my sexual encounters? Hetero, homo, bi-? Omni-sexual or just SEXUAL? Can I be one one day, another the next and yet another ten years from now? Will you let me without giving me shit? Am I sexually open and free? Will I ever be sexually liberated? What is sexual lliberation? Does capitalism set the pace for the sexual revolution? If I love and kiss, play and fuck too much, will I forget about the class struggle? Why are some sex radicals I see so politically conservative? How do others from my class and from other classes experience their sexuality differently and similarly as me? Why are riots so erotic? Can I still be a feminist and have desires of submission and fantasies of rape? Will these disappear come revolucion glorioso? Will sexual play with power disappear in an anarchist society? What will sex look like in anarchy? Why is sex so facinating? Why do we always seek it? Is it worth all the energy, time and thought put into it? Is it worth all this??? * That was the sidebar text of the publicity leaflet produced for the contraFLOW benifit cafe we held on the 28th May at the sex parlour surroundings of the famous 121 Anarchist Centre in Brixton. In case you don't know, we have a benefit every last Sunday of the month there, each one with acts and food and videos based around a different theme. Anyway, May's cafe (trumpets sound!!!) the SEX CAFE was basically our attempt to out some anarchist sexual desire and perversion, get a little confessional thing going on, admit to some serious stuff, you know. Early on, we dedcided that we were dead against the Sex Cafe re-inforcing traditional definitions and labels of sexuality, those descriptions of our sex lives or our rigid politicial lifestyles that limit, mentally and physically, what exciting and weird sex antics we want to enjoy. It's important to us to understand that today we may enjoy fucking with men, with women another year, back to men on Monday, masturbating with our pillowns all next year and then maybe giving it all up for stamp collecting of something. To aid this, we got together a bunch of videos and acts that talked it like they walked it. Sex is there, they said, most of us do it and most of us enjoy it, so why don't we ever loosen up and talk about it. If we're not getting any and that's driving us nuts then shouldn't we chat about that too? Just being able to spend six hours in a place where you were encouraged to let it all hang out, verbally or literally, is such a refreshing change. For once, we could talk openly about our sexy desires and realities and not be embarrassed or feel politically wrong or judged by our 'scene' and that's a time spent feeling empowered, temporarily free form the gossips, the rumour-mongers the be-littlers who seem to have a problem with our self-expression. Watching the comfort levels of people dealing with our in-your-face style was fascinating. Some people just handled the "contraFLOW Benefit Hand-Jobs...only 5 quid" sign, others were a bit disturbed. Some people sniggered a lot, others got into the spirit of it all. In the end, no one rung the bell for a session so we didn't have to bluff our way through that and no-one paid 50p for a peep at our contraFLOW members live sex act despite it really happening in a discrete silk-lined booth below the stairs. You blew it folks, and so did we!! Other contraFLOW members got to consider a change of career too with their sterling performance as the Anarko-Dales, the lithe young anarchist dance troupe that whipped the crowd up into a virtual sneeze with their sexy strip show. Masked-up anarchist boys may never seem sexy again. Wah! A load of people sat quite happily through the hour long video of male genital massage or the Betty Dodson art of female masturbation film. Annie Sprinkle's "Sluts And Goddesses" movie with its six minute orgasms, female ejaculation and polysexual perversity went down well too. Another contraFLOW member sung a song about inadequacy, some poets diid some...er, poems and some folks did sexy readings too. We even had a couple fo serious wrkshops, one for men and one for women. The men ummed and ahhed around the question of "love, sex and emotions - what do mehn really want and is that alright?", trying to hide the issues in a cloud of class anaylisis (but that was stamped on after half an hour!) whilst the women's discussion on "fakin' it, wanking it and other secrets" remained fairly reserved, some saying they had a difficult time opening up to stranges about such personal issues. Two self-defined feminist women discussed tehir experience of rape fantasy role play, and whether it contradicted their feminist attack on patriarchy or their anarchist critique of power. The lack of interesting confessions garnered in our sex survey that we hassled every attendee to anonymously fill in was disappointing although we had fun reading out some of the answers as a final 'entertainment'. Who indeed borrowed a certain Abba LP when they were young just so they could masturbate over the girls in the band's picture (They admitted they never even played the record)? Who was it that scored at a out-of-doors political event, blissfully fucking under the moon and the stars? and who amongst us concluded that a "revolution" is all that is necessary to sort out our sexual problems? Anyway, it was a challenge to organise and we had a lot of fun. It didn't get too bogged down in detail or too 'shock horror....aren't we so cool' either. We wanted the cafe and the questions above to kick in a little something to our weirdlyu represed society and 'scene' to free up a little time and space inour heads about our desires and fetishes and to jug around with the things that 'revolutionary' debates around sexuality don't usually encompass. If you missed it, you missed a good effort. Thanks to those that came.